Bush, Cheney Made Love After Every State of the Union

WASHINGTON, D.C.–In what became a regular tradition for the pair, President Bush and Vice President Cheney made sweet, passionate love after the president's final State of the Union address.
        Bush and Cheney's ability to keep their lovemaking sessions a secret was due to their incredible discreetness and professionalism concerning the matter.  But those last few years of secrecy came to a crashing end when it seemed Bush could just not contain himself during the speech.

        "Tonight," Bush stated, "I want to discuss three economic reforms that deserve to be priorities for this Congress.  First, we must balance the federal budget. We can do so without raising boners–I mean taxes!  Without raising taxes."

        It was only one of many slip-ups that were to plague the president's speech.  During the evening he constantly referred to education as "sex education," snickered everytime he said "size," and while talking about his health care plan he stated, "My second proposal is to help the states that are coming up with innovative ways to cover the uninsured.  Heh, like after the last speech, man, Cheney found some innovative ways to cover me with–I mean, Vice President Cheney is a, a, a great guy.  I'n't he?"  He then covered the mic and glanced over at Cheney, whispering, "Phew, that was a close one," to which Cheney just put his head in his hands and grunted.
        The pair was forced to admit to their affair yesterday after speculation of the romance spread quickly throughout Capitol Hill.  In an effort to clear the air, as well as distill any rumors that were floating around, the vice president held a press conference early this morning.

        "It's really not that big of a deal, and in no way is it romantic.  It's just two men who work together very closely enjoying a special bond–humping."  Cheney explained how he had always had a fascination with his daughter's lesbianism, adding that, "maybe there was something to that whole gay thing."
        When asked for details into the bedroom goings-on, Cheney was vague at best.  He did however say that it rarely took place in a bedroom, and that it consisted mostly of the two 69'ing while calling each other dirty names, "Madam Speaker" being a new favorite ever since Nancy Pelosi was elected.