Controversy Shmontroshmershy

I'm always amazed at how most Bullsheet controversy seems to dissipate after a few days. Someone says something of an "UH-OH!" status, another responds, double sheet, double sheet, double sheet, everyone stops talking about it. The formula is always the same. It never changes. Whatsamatta, dorks? Don't you care about anything? Apparently not! So, to get your juices flowing, I have come up with a list of controversial topics, opinions, and questions for you to discuss with your friends.

1. Competitive abortion-getting: Horrific new pastime or a woman's right to choose?
2. Republicans: a healthy mix of the wealthy and the ignorant
3. Hey, Homesteaders, I've seen that garden. It's just weeds.
4. Fish-bombing from helicopters in the Alaskan wilderness
5. Unsolicited assisted suicide in the Alaskan hospital
6. New study confirms gays can't read
7. Shampoop: Terrible idea or most terrible idea of all-time?
8. White people < Black people < Darrin Collins < Me
9. Sarah Palin: Is she a Fembot?
10. Will Barack Obama change our babies? Because they're shitting everywhere.
11. Weird Al's Pulitzer: Where is it?
12. Let us return to the time of Eden, strip off our clothes, and have sex with our children.
13. Satan: Better than God, or just more fun to hang out with?
14. Prostitution is hard. No one wants to have sex with my dog.
15. Do the Beijing Olympic medals contain lethal amounts of lead?

Burpee's Blog!

For those of you who don't know, I am in an improv-comedy group at Denison University, Burpee's Seedy Theatrical Co. We are the oldest collegiate improv group in the country, and tend to be extremely funny. And now we even have a blog, http://burpeesseedy.blogspot.com. What more could you ask for? Affordable health insurance? Clean, renewable energy? A house you pay for and live in? Then vote for Barack Obama!

Further Proof That God is Dead and He's Never Coming Back

Last January I posted proof that there can no longer be any just and loving god. I am sorry to say that I have returned with more evidence to support my claim. For no god would ever allow Beverly Hills Chihuahua to become the highest grossing film in America. Not for a weekend, not for a day, not for the blink of one of his million eyeballs.

Loot. Pillage. Make movies centered around jokes a decade old. There are no consequences for anything anymore.