MacMow

I've been wanting to mow the lawn for the past couple days, but it's been raining.  And it's supposed to rain every day for the next week.  I should just mow in the rain, naked, like a Scotsman.

Like a true Scotsman!

...

Aw, hell.  I'm Irish.  Which means I have to mow drunk while punching a woman.

...

OK, so my dad and I just say we're Irish.  We're actually English.  Which means I have to mow in a corduroy blazer with elbow patches.  And it's summer, which means that's going to make it fucking hot.